Dirty Rifle

Dream me is younger, or at least I feel younger. I feel that adults are older, or at least that they have authority over me. I think I might be in a boy scout’s uniform or at least I have some responsibility to be a good citizen. I’m in a convince store. It’s the tiny, dirty kind you find downtown in a huge city. The store is very narrow and kind of deep to compensate for the lost space. It’s nighttime outside on the city street. There’s an adult in the store too. I don’t remember what he looks like; just that he’s bigger than me and, like the store, kind of dirty. The checkout counter is in the deep part of the store but the man and I are in the front. There are shelves up high on the same wall as the door to the city street. It’s hard for me to see what’s on the shelves but it looks like rifles. The man wants me to buy one. I’m not sure I want to but I feel I should. I’m worried it will be hard to get off the shelf but it’s not that heavy. The rifle twirls around in my hand like a light metal pipe. I’m really not sure I want to buy it but I do.

            I’m older now, maybe not an adult but I’m more mature. I’m in the same store that I bought the fake metal gun from and I regret that I did. There’s a younger boy in the store trying to get one of the rifles off the shelf. I recommend that he doesn’t buy it. The boy probably feels I have authority over him the same way I used to feel because he doesn’t buy the rifle. I feel better now, like I finally lived up to my good citizen responsibility. It’s still night time when I go outside. The street is lined with very tall buildings but has a scarcity of street lamps. The darkness of the city makes it somewhat void of color. The street is not empty, people are walking around. There are bright flashes and the sound of gunshots off to the right. Most of the people on the street don’t react much. There’s a criminal running around with one of the rifles. He’s another dirty man, but I’m not sure if he’s the same one from before, but like before the man is bigger than me. I try pointing my rifle at him even though I know it’s fake. He tells me it’s fake and goes down the dark street. I feel compelled to try and find him. It doesn’t feel like any of it is a serious deal involving guns, it feels more like a game of hide and seek.

Further down the street there are no more tall building on the lefts side of the street instead there is a park. The lack of building makes it possible to see the sky for the first time... my memory is somewhat fuzzy but somehow in the park I meet Mrs. Thairungroj, the real world mother of Ajjana… I’m not sure what we’re doing but fireworks start going off in the open sky that can be seen above the park. When a red firework goes off everything in the city glows red and when a blue firework goes off everything glows blue. The colors are very bright, in heavy contrast to the colorless darkness of the city earlier…

… More things happen before I wake up but I don’t remember them.